Raghuraman

Living in the present moment is the only way to live and live well. It is in the present that we touch base with our inner selves and come to terms with the reality outside. We need to continuously say goodbye to our past situations and circumstances and our reactions to them. It is in the now that we plan and project a future we want to ensure for ourselves.

With the dawn of each new day brings a time of peace, thanksgiving and prayer loaded with positive vibrations in thoughts and speech. As the day progresses we go on to encounter both the good and the bad. We should choose in each moment the good in us to weaken the low and unpalatable. This will act as a bridge going from from one good example to another.

We should live in the now, experiencing the richness of the present moment. By doing this we are extracted and uprooted from the past and the impending future. It is in the now that we make our encounter with the Divine. Nature knows no past or future. It is our human consciousness that relates to reality, as if it were an unfinished event or an inevitable future.

When we remain in the now we are open to enjoying all that is given to us as a gift. We experience to the full joy, sadness, laughter, pain, hope, dismay, beauty, ugliness –all wrapped up as a gift for the present. It is in the now that we rise when we rise, pray when we pray, eat when we eat and live as we live. In such an existence the past is over and future is still a way off .

The now helps us to arrive at our destination in the most effective way possible. So live now to the full, catch the early morning sunrise, enjoy the mist, dew, rain and snow, eat a healthy breakfast and enjoy the work of the day. Enjoy your leisure time, spend enough time exercising, begin each fresh day with a prayer and share your experiences with your near and dear. Above all, enjoy doing all these things!

The “now enjoy” technique never lets you down, because you are responsible for it from your own inner being which will provide the pattern and harmony for a more meaningful, richer life.

Healthy body: focus on more eating wheat products

Healthy skin: use olive oil

Healthy eyes: do eye exercises every day, use lubricating oils/drops once in while

Healthy hair: use approved Ayurvedic oils twice a week

Healthy fruit: apple and papaya

Healthy food: oats, green vegetables, green salad, grains and sprouts

Healthy exercise: yoga, breathing exercises (pranayama), walking,

Healthy drinks: four glasses of water first thing in the morning and apple juice any time

Healthy mind: meditation every day

Healthy beliefs:  kindness, fellow feeling, empathy

The writer wishes to acknowledge the presentation and information provided by author Marguerite Theophill

We all seem to carry a notion that some people have smooth and trouble free lives, some are happy and lucky while others seem to have lot of misfortunes and are unlucky. We assign ourselves to one of these groups depending on the situation. This is an illusion created by our own thinking, a state of  mind. In reality, happiness does not happen to us it happens by us!

This does not mean we should ignore the painful reality of what happens in our day to day lives. We can feel miserable and make others around us also miserable. However, we can choose our response to something at any given point in time, and it is entirely in our hands. All of us experience the tension and pressures of the day, some of which is created by us while some gets imposed upon us. We can feel miserable and we choose to be angry and furious. There is a good alternative here; we can call upon the graces of the moment, remind ourselves  of our good fortunes, breath calmly for a few minutes, find something else to focus upon and some thing to be grateful for. We can choose between forever brooding or instead can focus on healing and moving on.

Happiness is called upon and cultivated, involving un-learning as much as learning.

Experiences in life can create habits and patterns that become deeply ingrained, influencing our moods and choices. We should realize that blaming others for our miseries, even if partially true, is  only an excuse. It can not give us the peace and happiness which we crave for all the time. It instead serves to increase our miseries and suffering.

Cultivating a feeling of happiness is a self generated cycle of activity. It is biological as much as physical. When you take time out for a walk, move to view the greenery, pray and meditate, dance and sing along to a favorite tune, or share moments with special people then happy hormones flood your system keeping you healthy. For this you should first accept that happiness is something that is generated within and it can come with time and practice.

Happiness is saying yes to more caring relationships, yes to more positive emotions and engagements. An assured way to a fuller, meaningful life and relationships.

Every father and mother has the welfare of their children as their primary focus and their time and energy will be given always. The roles played vary with the child’s age and needs, nevertheless in the whole process a close bond is established and it remains unchanged. In quiet moments this is recalled it and it always brings a smile, happy feelings and moments of bliss.

When it comes to writing the thoughts of a father and what he would want to communicate to his son, the following are some of the main aspects that come to my mind as a father myself who is a very close friend and well wisher to my sons:

- Life is precious and equally fragile. So everyday is a gift. Try and live it to the best of your ability in any given opportunity.

- Be aware of every passing second. Watch all the activity happening around you- it will make you active. It may be the birds going about in search of food, the sun coming out in the eastern horizon, flower buds opening out or pet animals happily playing with one another. Time and space never remains constant.

- Appreciate your mother’s cooking. Praise it to Heaven! Make it a habit to eat together as a family, rather make it a rule, and a special rapport will form in the family.

- Follow your Heart. The mind will waver, but the heart seldom does. Respect the voice of your inner conscience for decision and direction.

- Seek a job which you will enjoy doing as you enter the stage of careers and cocktails. It is possible that you will get sucked in to the vortex called the rat race, but never be overwhelmed. We all are human, but we need to have the courage to step out of it. Nothing will be lost, only some illusions will shatter. Consider this a good riddance.

- Money is important. Earn well, adequately to support your family needs, your plans for future, savings for rainy days and retirement and for paying back to parents and society for their help in making you what you are today. Enjoy the pleasure of earning but never allow money to control you or your conscience. Remain balanced and humane. This is a very useful and very powerful tool to give you strength and propel you forward so use it very carefully.

- Find your love and hold on dearly. Be a good father and husband. Give your children space to make mistakes but be available to help and hold them when they fall. Your being with them should make them happy and confident.

- Speak up when you have to. Try not to live in a state of fear, fear changes nothing. Encourage the formation of an environment where there is respect, care and concern for each other. The power and initiative is in your hands as is with everyone.

- Don’t have regrets, however learn from the mistakes and, wherever possible, make early and quick amendments. Do not carry grudges as it does not help anyone.

- An unlimited capacity and potential is within you. It is your job to discover, unearth and make it useful to you and your society. Great discoveries of science have not been made by accident but from consistent and hard effort. Never get discouraged by failure of efforts, they are only stepping stones to success.

- Follow the example of a master or guide but decide your own direction.

- We can not be perfect or right all the time. Slips and failures can happen, it is part of life, but as long as you realize that your positives are better and higher than your negatives you have nothing to fear.

- Caring words are not enough to express the care and concern reflected through a sister, mother, wife, grandmother or great grandmother. From our very beginnings through growth, development and our current situations they have played an important role and continue to have a special status. They are the very foundation of our existence. We have confidence in their opinions and judgments. We have to continue this excellent and supportive tradition without any reservation, hesitation, influence or egotism.

I will continue to remain proud of you, my dear son. May you be blessed with growth and achievement.

Take care

Your Father

Murphy’s Law says if anything can go wrong, it will go wrong. Every time we solve one problem a new one springs up. This is a common, normal experience for all of us. Maybe no one can escape this or be free of problems. However, the least we can do is to ensure that we do not fret and worry about them. The pressure of life is so great that any stresses will affect us physically and emotionally.

The solution is not to succumb to our frustrations by fighting back or running away from them. Those reactions can create still more problems for us in our relationships. We therefore need to find an acceptable alternative solution to defuse tensions. Meditation is one way to counter stress, as it is a process by which we can experience higher spiritual realms. Meditation helps by bringing physical relaxation and it also puts us in a state where we are absorbed in an enjoyable, blissful experience and become oblivious to the problems of the outer world.

We select a pose in which we can remain calm and quiet. By focusing our attention on a point between and behind the two eye brows, we withdraw our attention from the outer body. The body then becomes as relaxed as it is in sleep and the mind is free to go in search of realms with in. With this inner support we can then face our problems with a clear mind and find solutions. We are able to make more rational decisions because we see life from a higher angle of vision. We feel less stressed as we remain calm, which in turn relaxes the body, and thus our chances of stress related illness decrease.

It is possible that as you sit in meditation all sorts of turbulent thoughts will come to your mind. This happens because of the deep rooted tendency of the mind to dwell up on worldly objects. To counteract this a point of focus will come to the rescue. The panchakshari Om Namah Shivaya mantra will induce seekers into deep meditation. The five syllables are the bij-aksharas or seed letters of the five elements: earth, water, fire, air and ether of which our body is made. Constant repetition of these holy syllables, either verbally or mentally, generates powerful spiritual vibrations, that will render the mind pure and one pointed. This leads to awakening of the kundalini, the spiritual energy that lies dormant at the base of the spine, the muladar, in each individual.

As you progress in meditation you will come to experience a sublime state, which will lead you to realise your inner most self, the abode of eternal consciousness.

We can meditate at any time of the day. We can begin our day with meditation, also end the day with meditation, during travel, during office lunch breaks, or immediately after returning home from a hard day’s work. We can overcome life’s stresses and strains and discover the key to relaxation and tranquility.

Now and then, every one of us has the basic urge to break away from routines so that our days are different. Going away to a new destination or a favorite location helps us to fulfill this need and we return mentally and physically recharged. We enjoy the experiences, the enlightening interactions and the learning and pleasure of being one with the nature. Being able to enjoy late mornings and late nights, to go out dressed in your fine holiday clothing, to shop with gay abandon, eat in road side cafés and taste choice local recipes adds additional thrill to the whole adventure!

In order to ensure it becomes an enjoyable experience we must take some small steps well in advance. Most experienced travellers do all this as routine and if we follow in their footsteps we can be reasonably assured that our holidays will also become an enjoyable experience.

It is vital that one decides the location, month and days of travel well ahead. The preferable month to do this is in January for the obvious reasons. For most working people a six day get-away from Sunday to Saturday twice a year seems ideal. Of course there are exceptions, and when you go for package tours the days of tours are already fixed and you can select the one most suitable for you. In addition to your holiday plans, there is always the option of weekend breaks.

The very next assignment will be to undertake some research and collect all the information about the place you intend to go. This should cover: weather information, road maps, distances, routes, modes of travel, languages spoken and the political climate (eg. disturbances such as possible strikes). Details of information centres and tourist spots should be clearly listed so a decision can be made as to what to see and what to bypass! Linked to this is what you will need to take with you. It advisable to take two trolley/wheel bags of different sizes in addition to shoulder bags. The shoulder bags help to keep your hands free during daily outings whilst giving adequate storage space for extra cash, camera, water bottle, emergency medicine, towels/tissue papers and even some snacks! Do not overload your bags and leave adequate space for your holiday shopping and new purchases that you may buy during the trip. Why not pack an extra shopping bag too?

Before you leave your house or flat it advisable to check the doors and windows to make sure they are safely locked. Ensure that appliances such as the TV, music systems, audio video equipment, computer, gas and microwave are off or disconnected. However it is a good idea to keep the fridge running with some essential food which can come in handy when you return home.  It is not advisable to talk about your going away for a trip in wide circles. Better just to inform a selected and trusted few and one or two close neighbours or flat mates. Prepare a list of things to be attended to on return as a priority so that things arent forgotten. Charge your cell phone and camera and pack your daily needs (medicines/prescription and reading materials). It is wise to prepare a new telephone index with important contact numbers. It is a good idea to carry different modes of cash like travelers cheques, debit cards, hotel vouchers and credit cards and an extra lock and key which can come in handy in new locations. If carrying cash it is best to split the cash with your co traveler, this will then spread the risk and ensure cash safety and security. It is better to have separate covers with allocated money for each activity, it will make things easier and ensures better finance control.

In case you are using a hired car, make sure you get a reliable and reputed operator and ask for an experienced and senior driver. Treat him cordially with all the dignity and respect due to another passenger. Get his cell phone number and clearly spell out your rules for the journey: safety norms, speed limits, test his knowledge of the route and locations. Do not assume or take anything for granted. Also invite him to join in on refreshments that you have en-route as this will help create a better rapport. Let him know you have come for a peaceful holiday and the lesser the hiccups, the better it will be for all!

It is a good idea to leave your valuables and excess cash in the hotel’s locker or deposit it with the hotel and get a receipt. Enter the information in your personal diary and remember to inform your co-passenger on such essential and important the details. Do remember to collect back the same when checking out! A good idea is to plan for each day during the previous evening after dinner, when you are noting down the highlights of the day. In case you are planning to stay with friends, inform then in advance and ensure they are expecting you before you arrive at their house. Buy some small gifts for them and offer to share a part of their daily work load as this will always a nice gesture on your part. Remember to take their family out for dinner before you leave them and also post a nice thank you card for their hospitality.

It is worthwhile to buy some small and useful gifts for your friends back home. If you have a video camera, ensure you use it to capture moments of your trip as you will enjoy watching it once in a while, particularly when you need a bit of cheering up! It is very good medicine. Time your return home to be at least a couple of days early to your actual day of going back to work. This will give time to get back to your routines in comfort. Once you settle down, enjoy the pleasant job of handing over the gifts to your friends, sorting your holiday photographs, forwarding these to friends and perhaps writing your experiences down (or on to your blog!). Wait awhile before thinking about your next holiday for it will come sooner than you expect!

Travel opens up everyone and is a great panacea for the many issues affecting us. So do keep travelling and enjoy the experience. You will become a much admired and sought out person for you will have so much to share. A treasure of wealth which all can joy.

The coming of sixty years denotes the beginning of a very personal, exciting phase of life. It is very challenging and equally thrilling because to make it a success or failure depends greatly on your mental framework and attitude. The positive factor here being your own achievements in the past 60 years, God wants you to live this phase still better and therefore this opportunity has been given to you! An opportunity to catch up with all that you could not do, for whatever reasons, they do not matter now, for what matters is here is the chance, better make good use of it!

In order to make a success of this important activity one needs to shake off and shed a few things. The computer savvy among you will understand if I say erase or delete here! Foremost in this list are words like AGE and RETIREMENT. Age has never been a yardstick to measure one’s personality/attitude/or abilities. Ageing is a part of nature or growing up and has many positives which offer immense benefit. In real life there is nothing called retirement from all. It is a word coined by those escapists who want to hide in their own web or cocoon. Like self pity all these thoughts can trigger negative emotions and they rightly deserve to be tossed in to a dustbin or moved to the delete section! We see many people nearing sixty starting to give over importance to their health problems or ailments and will only talk about this most of the time. This neither helps them, the ailment or the listener! In fact this can be their favorite topic for all occasions which psychologists would term as attention seeking techniques. So why join the band wagon? Be different, live your sickness cheerfully with the support of medicines, Yoga, and meditation. Think of the millions who have much more serious ailments, but who live better than you. In fact they can make others laugh, so where is the problem? It remains well hidden in our mental framework, fuelled by unrealistic and unknown perceptions.

Sixty therefore is not the time to withdraw from life, on the contrary with our background and experiences in life, we can be much sought after persons. This is the time when one is free from routine family obligations, job pressures, and is at peace with one’s self! Double blessed are those who have an understanding spouse with similar perceptions of life. The love, peace, and joy one experiences kindles our imagination. As a result creativity blossoms and spritual awareness is pronounced with deeper insights in to life. We become balanced, content with minimum essential needs and wants. As a result a great spectrum of happiness emanates within you, which you only can experience and enjoy! In this stage and phase the imbalances of daily life will hardly make a dent in you as you learn to forgive and forget.

We are now free to explore all that life has to offer! Be it a new hobby, learning a language, music, writing, travelling to new locations, gardening, cooking new recipies, painting, mountaineering, exploring jungles, learning yoga, meditation, enrolling for voluntary social work, giving a helping hand to orphanages/senior citizens homes….the list is limitless! Sixty is certainly not the time to abandon your desires or interests; rather it is the ideal time to pursue your long cherished dreams, passions and past times. Listen to your voice and out will come a long list of things undone for many reasons and now is the opportunity. Remember most of the Nobel Prize winners in all fields are veterans.

So sixty is not the end! It’s a renewal or a new beginning. Accept the realities, but do not succumb to them. Ageing is inevitable, as is the associated symptoms such as absent mindedness, but this does not affect our creativity, mental acumen, shrewdness or discerning ability. Like our body which needs a dose of physical activity and exercise to stay fit, our mind must also be kept engaged, kept stimulated and rejuvenated with new things which we enjoy doing. Sixty is the right time to reassess our life and plans and act to fill up the gaps to the greatest extent. We have handy tools like the computer, internet, Dish TVs, cell phones and a big range of electronic gadgets which helps us to connect to people far and wide, to such an extent that loneliness will become a forgotten word.

We can become achievers even after sixty, for achievers are not born, they are made! It is not through inheritance, family lineage, connections or support. History tells us such back door entries have never sustained nor celebrated the joy of achievement. This is the time to gain and to give. Senior citizens are much cared and sought after in countries like India, Japan and China for they have so much to give. The paths they have travelled are milestones and directions to the emerging younger generations. This will direct them to achieve a balanced life with a good foundation on spiritual wisdom, build a super structure adapting to current needs and never to sway to temporary swings and attractions. Like a land mark, you will live a life well lived and well remembered.